“Everyone longs for intimacy and dreams of a nest of belonging in which one is embraced, seen, and loved. “…
John O Donohue on our longing to belong…
“Our hunger to belong is the longing to find a bridge across the distance from isolation to intimacy. Distance awakens longing; closeness is belonging. Everyone longs for intimacy and dreams of a nest of belonging in which one is embraced, seen, and loved. Something within each of us cries out for belonging. We can have all the world has to offer in terms of status, achievement, and possessions. Yet without a sense of belonging it all seems empty and pointless. Like the tree that puts roots deep into the clay, each of us needs the anchor of belonging in order to bend with the storms and continue towards the light. Like the ocean that returns each time to the shore, a sense of belonging liberates us and empowers us to trust fully the rhythm of loss and longing. Like a welcoming circle of friendship, it also shelters us from the loneliness of life. Furthermore, when we belong, we have an outside mooring to prevent our minds from falling into the abyss within us. Though we may not reflect too frequently on the vast infinity that surrounds us, such infinity can be threatening; it makes us feel tiny, inconsequential and vulnerable.”
“Unknown to us, this sense of vulnerability intensifies our hunger to belong. Each one of us journeys alone into this world – and each one of us carries a unique world within our hearts. No-one experiences your life as you do; yours is a totally unique story of experiences and feelings. Yet no individual is sealed off or hermetically self-enclosed. Although each soul is individual and unique, by its very nature the soul hungers for relationship. Consequently, it is your soul that longs to belong — and it is your soul that makes all belonging possible. No soul is private. No soul is merely mortal. As well as being the vital principle of your individual life, your soul is also ancient and eternal; it weaves you into the great tapestry of spirit which connects everything everywhere. Belonging does not merely shelter you from the sense of being separate and different; its more profound intention is the awakening of the Great Belonging which embraces everything. At the root of our hunger to belong, therefore, is the desire to awaken this hidden affinity. It is only when we recognize this intimate unity that we know that we are not outsiders cut off from everything around us but rather participants at the very heart of creation. Each of us brings something alive in the world that is unique. There is a profound necessity at the heart of individuality. As we awaken to this sense of destiny, we can begin to live a life that is generous and worthy of the blessing that is always calling us.”
John O Donohue, Eternal Echoes: Exploring Our Hunger to Belong