I hear a lot of use of this term “open hearted” being used in the community lately.
Like it’s the goal. An absolute. An achievement & a badge of honour to how “enlightened” a person is.
It seems to be used like a binary thing – a person is either living open-heartedly or they’re not.
Like”Enlightenment” – the idea that a human person is suddenly no longer human, but propelled to some state of constant blissed out max.
But I’m not sure it’s like that.
I am not enlightened.
But I have had some huge illuminations this past year.
And some of these have been blissful. And some have been massively painful.
And although they have not eradicated the pain I felt, they have led to greater freedom. And there was no big bang, just a dawning awareness after a long night of darkness.
The thing is, there is no “right” path.
There is no one way to do this. This spiritual-human path is as unique & special as is each individual. It is different for everyone.
The only path is your path.
The search for the one “right” religion, or belief system, or practice, or way of meditating, or eating or being, is self deception – it is merely a search for definitive certainty.
And if you are on a path, you probably already know, that there is no such thing as certainty. It does not exist.
Whether Tantra means this or that, or a “real Buddhist” believes this or that, or this way is the best, or that way. It’s all nonsense. It doesn’t matter.
Your path could be a mix of a whole host of practices or beliefs from various systems. Ultimately, we are only responsible or answerable to our own individual path.
And if that means mix & match from various spiritual traditions, if that’s what works for you, give yourself permission – you are allowed.
I don’t think open heartedness is a binary thing. I think we all have aspects of open heartedness, at various times, and that this fluctuates.
And I don’t believe that not being as open-hearted as we would like in aspects of our lives is something to feel shame about, or to use to shame someone else.
And the same too for this thing commonly referred to as “negative” emotions. What are “negative” emotions? If we whitewash them out, we deny essential aspects of this human experience. Without grief, there is no love. Without darkness, there is no light.
They are all parts of the same continuous spectrum. There is no either/or.
So if you find you are disappointed in yourself for not being “on” enough or not being “good enough” on your path, or disappointed to find that you’re not living “open-heartedly” in some aspect of your life, remember – there is no one way to be, there is no one way to do this.
You are where you are right here, right now. And your courage and desire to be on and in your own path is far greater than measuring yourself against someone else’s predefined formula.
Remember, your ego is not your guru.
Life is in motion, right here, right now. And here is where you are.